David & Bathsheba's First Son Promoted to Heaven
Background
David’s soldiers were away fighting the Ammonites, but he stayed back in Jerusalem.
He was walking around on his roof in the evening and saw a beautiful woman named Bathsheba bathing (get it?) herself from her recent “time of the month” ritual. (The author of II Samuel is careful to point this out because the baby boy born to David and Bathsheba was definitely theirs, not her husband Uriah’s.)
David sent for Bathsheba, they committed adultery, and she became pregnant.
David summoned Uriah from the battlefield, and David essentially told Uriah to go sleep with Bathsheba to cover his adultery.
Uriah refused.
David even dined with Uriah and got him drunk with the intention of having Uriah go “lay with his wife.”
Uriah refused.
Out of desperation, David sent a message with Uriah to his top commander, carrying the message ordering his own death by placing him at the front lines where it was most dangerous.
Bathsheba mourned for Uriah’s death, then David sent for her to officially become his wife.
David and Bathsheba’s son was born some time later.
The prophet Nathan came and confronted David about his sin, and David—realizing he sinned against God—repented. (II Samuel 12:13-14)
David fasted and prayed during the baby's seven days of sickness until the baby died.
When David saw the servants whispering, he asked, “… ‘Is the child dead?’ And they said, ‘He is dead.’" (II Samuel 12:19)
"So David arose from the ground, washed, anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he came to the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he came to his own house, and when he requested, they set food before him and he ate.” (II Samuel 12:20)
David’s actions really puzzled the servants.
Their curiosity must've gotten the best of them--for our benefit!
The servants even asked him, “… 'What is this thing that you have done? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept; but when the child died, you arose and ate food.’” (II Samuel 12:21)
David’s reply: “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, ‘Who knows, the LORD may be gracious to me, that the child may live.’ But now he has died; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.” (II Samuel 12: 22-23)
5 Important Lessons from Loss
1. Waiting is a part of life.
I imagine that that from the moment of Nathan’s proclamation, David’s waiting, wondering, and likely worrying began.
When a child, a loved one, or yourself are afflicted with an illness, waiting is especially difficult. There’s so much anxiety that tends to accompany the waiting. We frequently (and likely repeatedly) ask ourselves and others questions like:
- How long until he’s better?
- Will she get better?
- Will there be long-term consequences to this sickness?
And, of course, a million other questions like these.
Thoughts can spiral out of control very quickly and head down a path that is not productive.
David had to wait some length of time between Nathan’s announcement that their child would die and when the child actually got sick.
However, David took action to combat his distress.
David actively turned to God for help.
He knew this problem was too big for him to handle.
2. Take action and seek God before, during, and after the loss.
Seek God Always
Before David was in this situation, he was a man of God.
The book of I Samuel chronicles David’s rise to fame and notoriety through his battlefield exploits, musical giftedness, and attractive charisma, all encompassed by his trust in and reliance upon God.
David trusted God despite Saul’s evil – Saul was literally hunting David down to kill him.
Clearly, this situation with Bathsheba and Uriah were glaring sins in his life, but David realized his sins, repented, and changed his behavior.
Seek God During the Loss
David advocated intensely for his baby son all 7 days of the child's illness.
We are told he sought God on behalf of the child—even though Nathan told him this child would die.
And David fasted and went and lay all night on the ground (II Samuel 12:16).
David didn’t give up hope that his son might live until the child actually died.
As parents, we are also to actively advocate for our child(ren), first and foremost in supplication (humble and earnest calls for help) to the Lord.
We need to advocate for our loved one to the humans who can help them, but most importantly and ardently to the Great Physician (Jesus)--even when (especially when!) the medical situation seems dire.
Seek God After the Loss
After his son died, David still had hope.
David says in II Samuel 12:23, “I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.” David indicates here that his baby boy is now in heaven and David looks forward to the day he will be reunited with his son.
David's actions after his son died demonstrated his faith in God.
3. Physical movement, daily routines, and conversations all help overcome grief from loss.
Here's what David actively did during and after his loss:
- David prayed.
- David fasted.
- David physically devoted his entire body and focus in supplication to God when he laid on the ground.
- David was aware and in tune with his surroundings.
- David had conversations with people despite his grief.
He asked direct questions and provided specific answers to questions that were asked of him.
- David was present during the crisis.
He cleared his schedule of all his "kingly duties" and devoted his time, 24-7 until his little boy died.
- David took care of himself.
After he found out his son went to heaven, he got up off the floor, bathed, put on some smell-good (the Bible says "anointed himself"), and got on clean clothes.
- David worshipped.
He physically went to the House of the Lord.
Worship includes prayer: petition and praise, singing, reading and listening to God's Word.
- David went back home and ate.
- David conversed.
He explained his actions to those who were curious about how he was getting through his grief.
He took opportunities to explain his faith--regardless of the person's social standing.
- David thought logically.
He explained to the servants why he didn't eat during the crisis--he devoted his time to pleading with the Lord--versus why he chose to eat after the loss. (Fasting normally followed the death of a loved one.)
He asked rhetorical questions to the curious servants, "Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again?" (II Samuel 12:23)
Not all of David's practices apply to each person's situation when dealing with loss, but here are plenty of examples of what we ought to do.
4. Hope for the future is fuel when your tank feels empty.
David had a faith that included a future in heaven with his Lord and his child.
Since David had hope in his Redeemer God, David's thought life and physical actions jive with how he worked through the trial of losing his child, as well as how he processed his grief afterwards.
An earthly blessing from this terrible loss for David was his future son Solomon with Bathsheba would be the child that inherited the throne and brought Israel to the pinnacle of power. It is through this union that the future King of Kings--Jesus--would be born.
5. God makes a way to escape the guilt that can come from losing a child or loved one.
When your child dies, and you—the parent—live, it can feel like punishment.
There is guilt and questioning that come with the sorrow of a child’s life cut short.
In most people’s minds, the people who are “supposed” to be dying are the older people in the world.
We humans think the world has turned upside-down when a child dies.
The Lord says otherwise: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." (Isaiah 55:8)
We need to leave these very difficult things with God and trust in His plan.
Psalm 51 is David's lament over his sins with Bathsheba.
Even though the loss people experience is not always through some heinous sins like David committed, the application of confessing guilt and asking God for help with this weight frees a person mentally and physically.
I Peter 5:7 instructs us to cast our cares/burdens on Him because Jesus cares for us. God wants to bear the burdens of His children.
We should give all the "what ifs" to God:
- What if I would've checked on her one more time...?
- What if we made the wrong decision...?
- What if ______ ...?
- What if ______ ...?
This guilt is a battle that rages in one's mind and has real mental, spiritual, and health consequences.
By casting our cares (anxieties, guilt) on God, He will care for us by freeing us from these self-imposed burdens.
If David can have restoration his relationship with God after committing crimes punishable by death, of course God can free us from any sin or guilt we harbor.
In Summary
Tragic, bad things happen to everyone.
If they can happen to a king with so much wealth and so many connections—no one is spared.
Even the fact that the Son of God himself comes from this line of people who have made some very bad decisions speaks to the fact that God can use people for great things despite their moral failings. (Acts 13:22)
Tragic, bad things happen to people who have a very strong faith in God—so they can and do happen to anyone.
David was called a man after God’s own heart (I Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22), which may surprise many people since David was such a blatant sinner at times.
But since we are all born sinners, no one who even tries to follow God is perfect.
True believers that seek to live as God’s Word teaches and be a person after “God’s own heart” will recognize sin and repent of it as David did.
David’s heinous crimes against God and man were forgiven by God’s immense grace, but there will still be grave consequences for sins.
Nathan told David in II Samuel 12:13, “The Lord has also taken away your sin; you shall not die,” so it is only the power of God’s grace that any of our sins are taken away.
And if you know Jesus as your Savior, the wonderful truth is that the same power that rose Jesus from the grave lives in us. (Romans 8:11)
So, if we are fully yielded to Christ, we can go through difficult times and know His peace and presence with us.